In the Eye of the Beholder

Yesterday I was doing that thing called homework off and on all day.  I was having a pretty rough time with it because the weather was that dark overcast that Michigan has just perfected.  And it was raining that kind of mist that makes you a little sad it isn't just a bit colder so that it's snowing instead.  I really love this kind of weather.  It makes you feel cozy and warm, even if it isn't like that outside.  I know that I am in the minority with these thoughts, but the safety created from an overcast fall day is one of the best feelings you can have.

At one point I was working on a surprisingly difficult response paper in one of the lounges by my room when I looked outside to take a break from staring at the computer screen in front of me.  I'm so incredibly happy that I did, because at that moment the clouds had taken a break from their windy rampage and the sun was setting just right that there was a bright pink-orange lining just at the top of one group of clouds.  It was downright pure beauty.  I tried to capture the moment on my phone, but of course you can't capture certain things on camera.  I know I say that I want to be some sort of photographer, but even I have to admit that sometimes it is better to just take it all in.  I can describe it to you now and you're probably reading this thinking that it sounds pretty nice, but you don't even know the half of it.  Then the clouds got swept up in the wind again and the scene disappeared before my eyes.  At first I was sad, but those clouds left me feeling so much better about everything going on yesterday.  I finished my response paper and spent the rest of the night relaxing and enjoying some free time before another busy week would start, no doubt in perfect cloud-free, rain-free sunshine.


I was right by the way.  It's been sunny all day. 

It's Always The Hardest Right Before You Begin

I'm in a weird mood right now, and for a lot of today, so I wanted to put pen to paper and create something.  But drawing sounded wrong and my hand cramps up when I write in a journal.  Instead, I've decide to start typing.  And I figure if I'm gonna type something I might as well do it here because otherwise I just forget about this thing for far too long.  So I'm sorry if this isn't the most interesting post ever and I jump from topic to topic without giving any of them a whole lot of thought.  That's just where I am right here, in this moment, staring at the cursor blink at the end of each word as my brain tries to come up with some sort of excuse for creativity.

Topic number one:  Rules. I've decided that I'm not too big on rules.  I won't list the ones on my mind now but they keep causing problems for me.  And didn't someone once say that rules should be broken rather than followed anyways?  And if we are breaking rules than who's to say what else we can break?  Like boundaries?  And we can easily break bones and easily break hearts too.  But then who does the fixing?  Who comes with their hammer and nails to repair all the broken things?  I think I'd like to be a person that fixes things. I'm not sure how I can do that, especially since I'm the one writing all about how I want to tear down those rules that cause the broken things, but being a fixer sounds like a lot more fun and certainly a lot nicer. 

Topic number two:  Proficiency Exams.  They are dumb.  So far I've only taken one, but I've done it twice so I think it should count for more.  Both times I did horribly but it didn't quite make sense because my scores in the class weren't half bad.  I thought I would pass.  I got all the credits so it technically doesn't matter, but I can't put it on a resume in case someone checks my transcript.  I don't get the special piece of paper that announces to the world that I am proficient in the eyes of my professors either.  It doesn't bother me all the time, just sometimes.  When someone shows me an opportunity I missed I get pretty upset.  Or when I walk past my professors and they give me that look like they think they know me and I just have to lower my head and avoid eye contact until they turn away.  It's not a topic I generally like to discuss but somehow it keeps coming up.

Topic number three:  Creativity.  You know how some people are just so creative you immediately get jealous when you see them because at list one time in your life you have listened to their work?  I know at least two people like that right now, probably more, and I seriously can't handle how amazing they are.  I don't understand how their brains work the way that they do but I'm immensely jealous.   And every time they speak my mind feels like it needs a second to recover from the blow it just got.  One day I'll be like them too and people will have to recover when I read them some of my work.

Today Julia is responsible for the title of this blogpost.  She told me to just start writing so I did and this is the result.  Thanks for the push.  Sorry it wasn't everything you had hoped for.

Be Ready For Inspiration

So I know it has been an obnoxiously long time since I've posted anything, but hey guess what!? I'm back!  I've actually been inspired to write again! 

Basically my week has pretty much rocked.  I've had homework but I'm totally not stressed so that is pretty awesome.  I watched and read The Graduate for the first time!  I even vlogged with my friend Julia on our new vlog (which you should totally check out!)!  To add to all of that amazing, I had my first creative writing piece returned to me and my professor really liked it!  He said I had great voice even the the topic was super weird which I thought was very funny and super exciting.  I'm starting to thing this whole big pretend dream of me becoming a writer someday could maybe totally actually a little bit happen!  Then tonight, my roommate decided to go to Poetry Forum and she was inspired by all things rhyme and wonder.  She was sad though because her poems weren't "long enough" or "good enough", so my RA decided to challenge us to write some poetry and basically not hate it.  Of course, being super competitive, we decided to accept.  Okay okay.  It wasn't a real "challenge" per say, but it definitely had potential.  So we came up with a theme (the moon) and a time limit (15 minutes) and just sat on the floor with a pen and a college ruled notebook and wrote wrote wrote!  It was awesome! 

My message to all of you wonderful people who have stuck with me and actually kept up with this thing:  GET INSPIRED!  Go do something spectacular and have the best time of your life!

Interested in the vlog? This here nifty link will take you right to it.  You're welcome! http://www.youtube.com/channel/UCOKtpQKyLmusWsVmzMmV5Iw

Now I will leave you with the poem I wrote earlier this evening.  I don't care if you don't like it.  I would never claim that it's anything like Shakespeare or Dickinson, but I enjoyed writing it and I hope that you enjoy reading it as well.  

The Moon

Darkness
The sky is black except for the singular light of the moon
A glowing orb of hot white light streams to the ground
No clouds, no stars, just the moon and the people there to see it
They watch as it shines and shows them the after-hours world
A cricket chirps.
A frog bellows.
And the moon glows.
The grass moves and whispers to the river
The river answers as it rushes over smooth white pebbles
The moon shows it all with its hot white light

Cold
The night is cold with no sun to warm it
But the light, the illuminating light isn't cold
It isn't warm
It's hot like coals stuck under a mattress
while the little boy sleeps
and the mother and the father too
and the moon shows it all
with its hot white light

It was full
Then it was half
Now the moon is nothing but a sliver
Soon it will be nothing at all
And then there will be nothing to show the people the after-hours world
Until tomorrow when it beings again
It grows and grows 
Until...

A glowing orb of hot white light streams to the ground
And the people see it
And the crickets.  
And the frogs.
And the whispering grass and the answering river see it. 
And the moon shows it all with its hot white light and its glowing orb
And its man who smiles as the face of the moon looking down at the people that look up at him.
The moon

PS. This title was lovingly inspired by my good friend AGS. Thanks for the inspirational text the other day!