I'm in a weird mood right now, and for a lot of today, so I wanted to put pen to paper and create something. But drawing sounded wrong and my hand cramps up when I write in a journal. Instead, I've decide to start typing. And I figure if I'm gonna type something I might as well do it here because otherwise I just forget about this thing for far too long. So I'm sorry if this isn't the most interesting post ever and I jump from topic to topic without giving any of them a whole lot of thought. That's just where I am right here, in this moment, staring at the cursor blink at the end of each word as my brain tries to come up with some sort of excuse for creativity.
Topic number one: Rules. I've decided that I'm not too big on rules. I won't list the ones on my mind now but they keep causing problems for me. And didn't someone once say that rules should be broken rather than followed anyways? And if we are breaking rules than who's to say what else we can break? Like boundaries? And we can easily break bones and easily break hearts too. But then who does the fixing? Who comes with their hammer and nails to repair all the broken things? I think I'd like to be a person that fixes things. I'm not sure how I can do that, especially since I'm the one writing all about how I want to tear down those rules that cause the broken things, but being a fixer sounds like a lot more fun and certainly a lot nicer.
Topic number two: Proficiency Exams. They are dumb. So far I've only taken one, but I've done it twice so I think it should count for more. Both times I did horribly but it didn't quite make sense because my scores in the class weren't half bad. I thought I would pass. I got all the credits so it technically doesn't matter, but I can't put it on a resume in case someone checks my transcript. I don't get the special piece of paper that announces to the world that I am proficient in the eyes of my professors either. It doesn't bother me all the time, just sometimes. When someone shows me an opportunity I missed I get pretty upset. Or when I walk past my professors and they give me that look like they think they know me and I just have to lower my head and avoid eye contact until they turn away. It's not a topic I generally like to discuss but somehow it keeps coming up.
Topic number three: Creativity. You know how some people are just so creative you immediately get jealous when you see them because at list one time in your life you have listened to their work? I know at least two people like that right now, probably more, and I seriously can't handle how amazing they are. I don't understand how their brains work the way that they do but I'm immensely jealous. And every time they speak my mind feels like it needs a second to recover from the blow it just got. One day I'll be like them too and people will have to recover when I read them some of my work.
Today Julia is responsible for the title of this blogpost. She told me to just start writing so I did and this is the result. Thanks for the push. Sorry it wasn't everything you had hoped for.
Topic number one: Rules. I've decided that I'm not too big on rules. I won't list the ones on my mind now but they keep causing problems for me. And didn't someone once say that rules should be broken rather than followed anyways? And if we are breaking rules than who's to say what else we can break? Like boundaries? And we can easily break bones and easily break hearts too. But then who does the fixing? Who comes with their hammer and nails to repair all the broken things? I think I'd like to be a person that fixes things. I'm not sure how I can do that, especially since I'm the one writing all about how I want to tear down those rules that cause the broken things, but being a fixer sounds like a lot more fun and certainly a lot nicer.
Topic number two: Proficiency Exams. They are dumb. So far I've only taken one, but I've done it twice so I think it should count for more. Both times I did horribly but it didn't quite make sense because my scores in the class weren't half bad. I thought I would pass. I got all the credits so it technically doesn't matter, but I can't put it on a resume in case someone checks my transcript. I don't get the special piece of paper that announces to the world that I am proficient in the eyes of my professors either. It doesn't bother me all the time, just sometimes. When someone shows me an opportunity I missed I get pretty upset. Or when I walk past my professors and they give me that look like they think they know me and I just have to lower my head and avoid eye contact until they turn away. It's not a topic I generally like to discuss but somehow it keeps coming up.
Topic number three: Creativity. You know how some people are just so creative you immediately get jealous when you see them because at list one time in your life you have listened to their work? I know at least two people like that right now, probably more, and I seriously can't handle how amazing they are. I don't understand how their brains work the way that they do but I'm immensely jealous. And every time they speak my mind feels like it needs a second to recover from the blow it just got. One day I'll be like them too and people will have to recover when I read them some of my work.
Today Julia is responsible for the title of this blogpost. She told me to just start writing so I did and this is the result. Thanks for the push. Sorry it wasn't everything you had hoped for.
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