The End of Your Comfort Zone

Every day I tell my roommate that I want to quit school and travel the world.  Everyday she laughs and says, "I know".  It isn't always that I don't like a class or am stressed or anything.  Usually I would just rather be off in Africa on some Safari.  Or seeing a play at the Globe.  Or swimming the Great Barrier Reef.  Or climbing the Great Wall of China.  One day I want to go to every continent.  (So far I've been to five out of seven so if you feel like donating to the cause I wouldn't say no.) After that I'll hit up every country.  Sometime I'll even make it to every state. (That one shouldn't be too hard, right?) 

I have a friend with a tattoo of the map of the entire world on his arm.  Well, minus Antarctica.  Every time he goes somewhere he marks it on the map just like I mark the map on my wall.  He has been to so many places that I can only imagine going to.  Today I talked to him all about the at least five different places he plans to go in the upcoming year.  Let me tell you... wow!  He has it all figured out.  He says that they are all just ideas, but how many people have done great things without just an idea? Yeah.  That's what I thought.

I'm on my way, but I'm definitely nowhere near there yet.  And guess what?! I don't care!  That's half the fun!  I get to spend my time thinking and planning and dreaming of all the adventures I will make sure that I have.  I'm so excited!  

I just felt like I needed to share that with you all today.  Go travel and see the world.  You'll be better off for it.  Trust me.   

One Small Step, Or One Giant Leap?

I have a map in my bedroom that takes up most of my wall.  It has a bunch of flags and pins reminding me of where I've been and where I someday hope to go.  Ever since I put it up years ago, I've had a picture of the moon just above it with one yellow pin.  I never thought I'd ever really be able to make it there, but it was fun to dream.  After last night I don't know how much fun that dream really is anymore.  Why you might ask?  Last night was the night all of my dreams of ever going to space to see the world, and I mean really SEE the world, all washed away like a footprint on the beach.  Last night I saw Gravity.  

Okay, even though it was terrifying, what an excellent movie!  It's not too long at all, but you definitely don't feel like you still need the satisfaction of a good ending.  Plus, the music and sound is outstanding, which really makes a movie for me.   It was especially awesome because the people in charge of sound really played with the oxygen and lack there of in a space setting.  The sound was totally different outside a helmet versus inside or inside a shuttle.  Totally great.  The story was pretty awesome too, but definitely hard to watch in some parts.  So awful sometimes.  I didn't even realize how tense I was until I looked down and saw that I had marks on my palms from where my nails dug into my skin.  Pretty freakin' intense.  And the 3D really just added to that.  I was physically ducking to avoid pieces of shrapnel flying in my direction.  

Now I'm going to warn you that there is a spoiler in the next paragraph of this post.  I really can't help it and I really don't want to anyways.  So skip a paragraph and continue, or if you're too lazy and just wanna stop reading I get that too.  Okay, here I go.  

Spoiler paragraph: This excellent and scary portrayal of space has basically one and a half characters that you immediately connect with without even realizing it.  You are totally invested in their journey right away.  Sure during the movie I was scared for them, and I felt bad, but lately I've been doing this thing where I don't cry or anything during a show, book, or a movie.  But hours, or even days later, I find myself lying in bed crying my eyes out for a character that had something super unfair happen to them.  My mom has always told me that life isn't fair, but it doesn't make it easier to watch it happen.  It doesn't necessarily mean that the person died unreasonably, but something had to happen to them that just shouldn't have. Sometimes something classically sad just happened to them, or something that just made their life that much harder.  But it gets me every time, just not right away. Last night I found myself doing this for Mr. Clooney.  I woke up in the middle of the night with tears streaming down my face for a fictional character that witnessed a certain kind of hell and then floated into the stars because it was his only choice.  He chose to do it.  He had to!  How unfair for him!   I couldn't stop crying.  Even writing this now I'm getting a little emotional. 

So basically how do you know when a movie is just amazing?  I don't know if this is the same for everyone else, but for me it's when you think about it after and you can still hear the whirring in your mind as it works to figure out what it just saw and what it all means.  When you cry for a character because you feel just that close to them and you're not ready to see them go.  When the music adds to it instead of plays in the background because someone thought it was too quiet without it.  And when the story is so good that it makes you change your mind about something you didn't even think was important enough to be changed.  So for me, Gravity: good movie.  

If you've seen it tell me what you thought. If not, go see and tell me.  I'd love to know what you have to say about it and if you felt the same way as me.    

P.S. I guess this was a movie review.  I didn't really mean to but it was on my mind.  If you like this style of writing let me know and I'll do some more of these.

We're All Mad Here

Another lovely Wednesday Write Night in my hall tonight!  Again it was great and it even included cider and donuts for all!  It totally made my night.  There was even more people there tonight too!  That means more poems to hear from more awesome writers!  And of course, everyone's writing was just actually amazing and inspiring.  It's so cool to see how different everyone's poems are when we all have the exact same theme and topic to write about.  

Tonight's theme was Weird Writing.   We chose the topic of Voices in Your Head.  Each of us said a word that was supposed to be included in the poems as well.  The words were: caramel, edict, twitch, auto tune, frazzle, loquacious, Viagra, and pillow.  Plus bonus snap points for including: chicken nugger, sweer potato, and/or french fried.  So here is my Weird Poem.  I hope you enjoy it!

A Weird Poem With Some Weird Voices

By: Christina AKA Me AKA Hannah

I’ve developed a twitch

I’m not sure what to do about it

I’m not really sure how I got it either

It probably has something to do with those voices in my head

Like auto-tuned robots singing in my ear

Go away you daft punk losers

But hey, they aren’t really hurting me right?

They just tell me to do stuff, but it isn’t usually bad

It’s just words.

I can lie on my chicken nugger pillow and think about all of the sweet caramels and cider of the world but the voices are still there whispering loquaciously as I try to sleep.

They aren’t dangerous, but their voices are sickening nonetheless

I’m frazzled and frizzled and freaked out and fucked

I feel like I’ve just found out what Viagra really is, two minutes after I’ve swallowed four too many.

I guess I should call a doctor.  But doctor… who?

Anyone I ask will pronounce I’m crazy with some kind of edict with lots of big words that I don’t understand.

But maybe I am crazy

Or maybe it’s not me. 

Heck it’s probably you. 

And here’s just for you.

Just for you and your crazy and me and my not.

Nobody dies

And the little girl never gets any older.

And oops that’s a spoiler

No it’s a plot twist.

No it’s not. 

I don’t know.

Those are just the voices talking to no end. 

There is no end

But then again,

There is no beginning

Unless you’re in the hospital

Oh well.

I’m not

And I’m not crazy

Those voices are just friends, and enemies, and frenemies staying by my side as I walk down the street in the dark by a parking structure

There are so many cars

Maybe I’ll steal one

Maybe the voices will too.

Yeah I think we will

Yippee, a new car for me

It’s shiny and new and now it’s mine

And now I’m done

Finished if you will

Yup

That Thing You Do

It's 11:47.  You're walking down the hallway to the printers after a long day of classes and homework.  All you can think about are the piles of books and articles on your desk and how much you would much rather be in bed.  Someone walks by you.  You don't even take the time to look at them.  Then you hear a shuffle behind you.  They've turned around and are coming your way.  They point at you and say "you look like you could use a hug", give you a big bear hug, and walk away.  And your day just got better.  Suddenly one of those days just became one of those great days.

You know what I'm talking about.  Those little things people say or do that just make you feel all warm and fuzzy inside.  The things that can change your day from the absolute worst day ever to one of the best days that you just have to tell everyone about.   In the past couple weeks, I've either watched this happen to a bunch of people, or I've been the lucky recipient!  Only problem is, I don't think I've been able to make anyone feel the same way from one of my awesome and much needed comments or gestures.  Oh well.  I'll work on that.  In the mean time, I thought I'd share a few of the lovely things that have happened around me these past few weeks.

So the example I gave you is actually a real story.  My roommate Nicole was having a pretty rough day the other day.  She was on her way to the printers in the basement when someone stopped her to hug her because apparently she looked like she needed it.  She came back with a short story in hand and a huge smile on her face.  She couldn't wait to tell me the story.  Her day was instantly made, and mine got better just from hearing about it.  Props to the guy who hugged her.  I never would've thought to do that.

The next thing happened to my good friend Holly.  Holly was at Thursday Night Story Hour sitting on the floor right in front of the chair for the storytellers.  She has one of those super encouraging smiles that take up her entire face and make you feel like it's a gift to see it.  Apparently one of the story tellers noticed, too.  As we were leaving, the storyteller rushed after us and tapped Holly on the shoulder just to tell  her she had a beautiful smile.  She was so flattered she cried.  Not that this was tremendously out of the ordinary since she cries at practically everything, but it was still awesome to watch.  Right away she called her mom to tell her about it.  It was adorable.  She couldn't stop smiling all night.  Go storyteller, you made a night better!

Okay, last example.  This one is super simple but it always makes me feel great.  My friend Cody is the best at telling you how nice you look.  I'll admit, a lot of the time it's just something that I threw together five minutes before class and the comment really only makes me feel good that it worked out.  But every so often I've actually taken the time to look nice, and Cody always notices.  Those are the days I get the "wows" and "damnnnns" that are silly enough and great enough to put a smile on my face and make me feel great for the rest of the day.  Yay Cody! 

I've figured out why I love these so much.  The best thing about these gestures and comments is that people don't even know the effect they are having on someone else.  Heck, someone told me they were glad they met me and I was instantly ecstatic.  They probably didn't have a clue, though. That is what makes them so great!  And they're easy too!  A quick smile.  A short wave.  A little wink.  These are day makers!  And people do these things just because they feel like it, not because they think people will actually need it.  I guess it's just one of the wonderful things about human kind.  On occasion, we just like being nice to each other for no reason at all.  We rock!  Keep it up humans!

But This...

So let me tell y'all about one of the best nights ever.  I laughed so much I surprised myself.  If you know me even a little bit then you know that has got to be a hell of a lot of laughing.  

Here's how it started:

I walked back from band and rushed into my dorm.  In the hall there was a circle of giggling girls standing directly in my path.  At first I was frustrated because, well hello, there was a group of giggling girls in my way and you know, people.  So I tried to squeeze by the best I could when I realized there is a cat!  Someone's mom brought their cat for everyone to pet!  Ah!  So, of course, I pet the kitty and continued on my way in totally the best mood.  Just wait.  It get's better.  

Then it was time for a hall RA event: Wednesday Write Night.  It was all planned out with a theme and everything (Bad Poetry) for 9:30.  Only question was where the heck was it happening?  I went to find Julia and head over to the event, but since we didn't know where we were going, we decided to send an email and wait it out in her room until someone told us where to go.  We were too lazy to go look around ourselves.  Oops.  As we waited, Julia gave me a cider mill donut and a mug full of apple cider.  Ain't nothin' wrong with that.  I happened to be sitting in front of her mirror, so obviously I couldn't stop looking at myself.  Of course this led to a conversation about Narcissus, and then of course Narcissa Malfoy, because Harry Potter.  30 minutes later and we finally knew where Wednesday Write Night was happening, delayed!  The lounge! 

So we headed to the lounge.  While we waited for the now 10 o clock RA event, we decided to watch the next episode in Julia's DW adventure.  As Sally Sparrow ducked, we realized no one was showing up.  We checked our emails again and of course, wrong lounge.  

So we headed upstairs! And here's where the night really gets good!

A few of us shared some of what we considered to be "bad poetry".  I shared a poem that I had read for AP Lit and totally not gotten (Howard Nemerov's The Lobster) (Sorry Mrs. Tay but it was just really bad).  Didn't like it then, still don't like it. Then we listened to a few bad high school analogies about trains and hummingbirds. There were some definite gems in those.  And then... we wrote our very own bad poetry! And when I say bad, I mean it.  All of us had to write about a kid named Dennis and Julia's braid.  We all worked very hard, and we definitely all succeeded in writing some of the worst poetry out there.  We read them aloud, laughed our faces off, then traded poems so we could read them again.  Because that made sense. They were still just as good and still just as funny.  We laughed so hard we cried.  Of course, being a narcissist, I loved hearing mine read most.  I got to hear it in slam too!  Golden!  Then we found out the whole time had been recorded by one of our lovely hall mates who I still don't really know what to call (Dandy?).  Excellent!  We listened to them for a third time!  STILL JUST AS FUNNY!!!  Every.  Single. Time. So. Funny.

Then I walked past a girl talking in another lounge.  She was telling someone about her day in the sun and she said, "I sat out in the sun today!  I think I photosynthesized!"  I don't know if she was trying to be funny, but seeing as I was already in the laughing mood, I found it hard to contain myself.  Sorry girl if you read this, but really?

So over the night I laughed so hard for so long that by the time I got back to my room I had a bad case of the hiccups and the after-laughs.  You know those laughs that happen because you started thinking about something that was funny that happened earlier in your life.  It was great.  My roommate thinks I'm insane.  But this...

Interested in reading my bad poem?  You're in luck! 

Dennis and the Braid

Dennis's name was like a boy's name called Dennis

He sat on the floor when I met him

Right by a girl

Who had a braid

Not just any braid

A braid on the side of her face

The left side.  That means not the right

It had a pink hair tie

I guess that's significant

Dennis wore a green hat that was green like grass, not the yellow dry kind.

His hair was long like long hair

It will be donated to people who don't have hair

Maybe the girl with the braid will donate her hair

She probably won't because she likes her hair

Like a kid who likes cake, likes cake

She isn't as nice as Dennis is

Because she won't donate her hair

That's not nice

Like a boy with a magnifying glass being not nice and killing ants

That kind of not nice

P.S.  I laughed when I typed this out again.  What a night.

P.P.S.  Title brought to you by my RA's bad poem.  What a great one.