Crying

As I prepare for my life after High School I realize I've been doing a lot of crying.  

Some of those tears fall because I know how great my life has been and I am so unconditionally grateful.  Other tears come from that pit in my stomach filled with fear at what's still to come.  Learning about myself sounds scarier than meeting a ghost, or even a spider. And others still come from saying good bye to all the people I am used to seeing everyday, like my teachers, babysit-ees, best friends, ridiculous family, oh and my puppy, Sugar.  I guess good bye isn't right, it's never good bye.  It's just see you soon, or you'll be in my heart.  Cheesy right? Hey, I'm an emotional wreck, give me a break!

So High School was great.  
I had a few amazing teachers and a bunch of spectacular friends.  I could sit in  class for 90 minutes, or 61, and it would feel like five. I had the privilege of having excellent teachers multiple years in a row.  It rocked!  How else would I know when to use a comma, or how to use my TI? The only time during the Senior Walk that I cried was when I left them. 
As for my friends: we could do absolutely nothing and still have fun.  We could laugh at ourselves, take endless photo-booth pictures, dye our hair every color under the sea (Except green.  No one liked green.), watch Shang sing, and porch sit every night.  Hugging them good bye was like an explosion of Old Faithful, there was that much water. 

A lot of the tears of fright that come with starting a new journey, and saying good bye to the path I just traveled for so long, sting a lot more than the ones that come along with happy memories from High School and before.  I realize that I'm not the first one in the world to go to college.  Not hardly.  I'm not even the first one in my family, and I'm not even going that far (now those people are the real brave ones).    I'm just Hannah.  The nervous kid who hates change and is afraid of the unknown.  I admitted it so that means I'm moving forward right? Whatever.  I AM moving forward.  I always will be.  Maybe now I'll start getting excited.  Everyone else is.  Not that I'm trying to conform or anything, but it would be nice to trade a little of this fear for some happiness and excitement.   

Everyone says it's going to be great.  Part of me knows that's true.  It doesn't really matter though.  The tears keep on falling, and until I move Wednesday, I don't think they are going to stop. Ain't nothing wrong with a little crying.